"New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time."
"New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."
"May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions."
"He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool."
"Youth is when you are allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you are forced to."
"The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Years Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you are married to."
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