Funny New Year Messages

Everybody send new year Greeting cards and messages to their Family, Friends and other contacts. Its always better if you write some personalized New Year Message on the card and the best way to write a New Year message is to make it funny, something that makes the recipient laugh and start his new year on a positive note.

A Funny New Year Message for your Boss or Employer:

This year i have made the decision of not boring you by giving the same excuses every time I take a leave, instead I will think of new and innovative ones. Wishing you a great new year.

Funny New Year's Eve Party Invitation Message:

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. So here i am inviting you to New year's eve party at my place. I know it will be hard for you but you have to come. :)

More Funny New Year Messages:

1) May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions. Wishing you a Great n Happy New Year.

2) I pledge not to waste my time on reliving the past memories, but rather I will spend it by worrying about my future. And would advice you to do the same. Happy New Year!

3) I pledge to conserve water in the new calendar year by taking fewer baths. And would advice you to do the same. Have a water repellent new year.

Why Men Shouldn't Take Messages

"Someone from the Gyna Colleges called. They said the Pabst Beer is fine."

"I thought you didn't like Beer??"

A Christmas Message from Santa Claus

Funny Christmas message

I just wrote this note to inform you
Those high taxes have taken away
The things I really needed
My Reindeer, My Workshop, My Sleigh

And I'm forced to ride a Donkey
Who's Old, Crippled and Slow.
So, if I don't see you at Christmas,
I am out on my Ass in the snow.

Answering Machine Messages

Funny Messages

Top 6 Answering machine messages

Have u heard those yet?

6. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

5. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

4. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.

3. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "s e x y" message, I'll call sooner.

2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, its you.

1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...real slow. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.